To make up for today's film's rather lean run-time, I'll be watching a bonus festive short documentary. And what a Christmas cracker I’ve stumbled upon with 2012’s The Vice Guide to Travel: Takanakuy. Nothing shouts ‘Christmas’ more than Peruvian mountain men in ski masks, tying dead eagles to their heads, then getting shit-faced drunk and having a big old scrap. In this short but fantastic doc, a sheepish Vice magazine journalist heads into the Andes to an elevation of around 3,600 metres, to visit the tiny province of Chumbivilcas that hosts the batshit crazy annual Christmastime festival of Takanakuy. It's a vibrant, colourful affair with the locals drinking, dancing, feasting and wearing garish, fancy costumes. However, unlike your average office yuletide piss-up, this one culminates in a series of brutal public fights on Christmas morning, with the locals using the festival as an annual opportunity to, once and for all, sort out any disagreements they have. It’s astounding and one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe this is a real thing.
Brave/foolish Vice journo Thomas Morton sets off on a stomach-churning ten-hour drive into the middle of nowhere to find a culture that initially doesn’t appear too different from many other standard South American towns. However, we soon learn that the natives of Chumbivilcas defiantly live their own lives with their own language, customs and judicial system, independent of the rest of Peru. It’s all apparently a fierce reaction to the Spanish colonisation of South America centuries ago, a way to keep traditions alive. Takanakuy is a mixture of gladiatorial ultimate fighting and makeshift justice system with locals - mostly guys - meeting up en masse to settle differences through pissed-up combat. There are a few very loose ‘rules’ and a referee whose role seems to just involve whipping people. The combatants get in the holiday spirit by drinking for three days solid and dressing up like terrifying supervillains. Most choose to don traditional ‘luchador’-style ski masks, while a crazy few like to tart things up with leather chaps, capes and dead animals, like hawks and foxes. It’s outlandish but very, very cool.
Just for laughs, many of the local women and kids get in on the act too, which is a bit much, but you can’t say this culture isn’t inclusive. It’s completely mental but there’s also something very sweet about it all. There’s a powerful sense of camaraderie and community spirit here and the film shows the fighters laughing and hugging after their bouts, glad to have gotten it out of the way, finally settling old scores and beefs in what is essentially a thrilling, community-sanctioned rager. There’s a lot of respect on show here, though the best bits are when some fights get way out of hand, leading to the ref going to town with his whip to calm things down.
It’s most fun watching the geeky, awkward fish-out-of-water Vice journalist try to keep his cool as he’s plonked slap band in the middle of all this booze-soaked madness. He’s a good sport and dives headfirst into all the drinking and merriment but his discomfort is palpable when it becomes obvious that he’s not going to get out of this unless he fights too. Hilariously, his nominated opponent is like some sort of pumped-up, bandana-wearing villain from an apocalyptic Mad Max movie, described as having a “pet eagle, three girlfriends and a motorcycle”. This dude deserves an entire film to himself and definitely goes easy on our man while still doling out a real ass-whuppin’. The Vice-guy gets owned.
This one’s a boisterous, thrilling reminder that Christmas can be celebrated in wildly different ways by different cultures all around the world. These guys have chosen to rebel against the norm and to celebrate the Winter Solstice in their own volatile, bonkers, life-affirming way. It’s rousing, moving and entertaining as hell. It’s also beautifully shot with some breathtaking shots of the Andes mountains and Peruvian countryside. Many a Christmas gathering will degenerate into a boozy argument - the difference with these guys is that they’ve made a sport of it. I’d love to see this in the UK, like a sort of festive The Purge where petty squabbles finally get sorted and everyone is mates afterwards. Though I’d definitely prefer to be the guy with the whip.
Check out the whole thing right here:
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