I’ve never felt any sort of pull to ever sit down and watch a movie about the birth of Christ. I mean, they taught us the story in class and at Sunday school and, to be honest, that was enough for me. Biblical tales mostly never seemed all that thrilling, even with all the fantastical elements like burning bushes, battles and plagues and stuff. Some things just don’t grab you, I guess. I can clearly recall when 2006’s The Nativity Story, directed by Catherine Hardwicke came out. There was this massive billboard along the road from my flat at the time and I remember walking past the huge poster for this every morning and thinking “Who the hell would want to go and watch that”?
Fast forward 15 years and I’m not only settling in to watch this big budget retelling of the Nativity but I’m actively looking forward to it. My quest to watch all things Christmassy has given me a real appetite for anything related to the holiday season and I’m aware that this thing has morphed into a full-blown, but very secret obsession. I eagerly dive right in.
Hardwicke’s film - the first to ever receive a premiere in the Vatican City - is a slow, deliberate but apparently quite faithful telling of the story. It definitely feels like an attempt to cash-in on the runaway success of 2004’s The Passion of the Christ, but there’s also plenty to admire. Keisha Castle-Hughes, only about 15 when this came out but who had already won awards for her phenomenal performance in Whale Rider is Mary, while Oscar Isaac, who would go on to be a huge star, is Joseph. Ciaran Hinds, so skilled at playing diabolical villains, lends gravitas to one of the biggest douchebags in history, King Herod.
My favourite part of the film is watching Joseph’s expression when his allegedly ‘virgin’ missus comes home with this big baby bump. Isaac really sells it - he’s startled and has every right to be raging but he’s also one of the purest souls in history. He’s a total dude, so he accepts what’s happening, trusts his woman and just gets on with it. Respect.
Anyway, you all know the story, right? Or, at least, we think we do. Mary and Joseph are just a couple of decent-natured Nazareth folk going about their lives, saying their prayers and taking care of their families, occasionally putting up with knobhead Herod sending his boys round to hassle them for unreasonable taxes. We all know what that’s like. Herod becomes aware of some prophecy going round that God’s going to back some new king, so he’s royally pissed.
So, while Mary and Joseph are dealing with creepy dreams, visions of the archangel Gabriel (Alexander Siddig) and a tricky case of immaculate conception, across the desert three wise astronomers figure out which star in the sky will lead them to the newly prophesied king. Road trip!
I’m surprised but pleased that the film deals with the idea that, of course, everybody assumes Mary’s been fooling around behind Joseph’s back. He even has a terrifying dream about the townsfolk wanting to bash her head in with rocks. They definitely never taught me that bit in Sunday school. Still, we know he’s cool and when a census is announced he has no issues with squiring his knocked-up lady love back to Bethlehem.
A little bit of action along the way makes this more cinematic, with Joseph kicking the ass of a scary big snake that jumps them when they’re trying to cross a river, adding a sliver of excitement to what is, sadly, a bit of a dull affair. I mean, there’s not a whole lot you can do to make this story more visually thrilling, but at least they tried. The film’s watchable enough but doesn’t leave much of a lasting impression.
This one definitely is a nice reminder that the ‘King of Kings’ came from the most humble of beginnings, but doesn’t feel like a film people would be desperate to watch. There’s definitely a feel of preaching to the converted but I don’t think you need to see it if you’ve read the book.
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