So, Part 4 was disturbingly weird. Thankfully Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker (1991) brings the franchise back to more recognisably Christmassy murderous shenanigans though, for a film starring cuddly old Mickey Rooney, this one has its fair share of messed up moments. Rooney, who famously protested the release of SNDN part one, somehow winds up here playing a sadistic, unbalanced toy maker named Joe.
Seriously, upon the release of part one, Rooney was so outraged at its content he very publicly penned an angry letter of protest, stating:
“How dare they! I'm all for the first amendment but... don't give me Santa Claus with a gun going to kill someone. The scum who made that movie should be run out of town.”
Quite how “the scum” managed to snag him for part five, I have no clue but, though he does wind up wearing a Santa suit, to be fair he never shoots anyone.
This one kicks off with a rather distressing scene in which young Derek (William Thorne) sees his father killed by an evil toy that’s anonymously dropped off at the house. To be fair, it did say “Don’t Open Until Christmas”, so maybe he got what he deserved. With the kid left traumatised and mute, his mum Sarah (Jane Higginson) sets off to discover the truth, leading her to eccentric toymaker Joe’s store and a horde of evil, murderous living toys.
This franchise continues to surprise in that this is a part five that doesn’t totally suck. It’s very odd and slightly disturbing but way more palatable than part four. There are further impressive visual effects from Screaming Mad George and Rooney gives a surprisingly unnerving, sinister, sweaty performance.
Interestingly, Neith Hunter from part four is back, again playing a character called Kim but this time just seems to be Sarah’s nice, normal neighbour rather than a member of a demonic bug cult. Clint Howard also pops up again as a guy named Ricky, but it’s really just a cameo and he doesn’t do much. Are they the same characters? Is this a prequel? An alternate dimension? Who knows? But it does make this sprawling festive horror saga more interesting to try and decipher.
There are loads of cool, freaky toys in this with the groovy, low-rent practical effects lending themselves to some colourful, frightening kills. One guy gets his eyes mauled by a ‘Larry Larva’ toy, while some randy babysitters are savaged by little pointy blade-covered cars. There’s also toy soldiers with real guns, vicious little aeroplanes, various choppy gadgets and a robot hand thing that tickles a dude’s bum, but he seems to like it.
The movie features a truly bizarre twist that’s so mental it leaves little doubt that this series has ‘jumped the shark’. I won’t give it away, but let’s just say that the toymaker’s full name is Joe Petto and he has a mysterious son named Pino. Hmmmmmm.
This is the most overtly Christmassy of the series, with loads of toys, decorations and lunatics running around in Santa garb. It’s fun, silly, scary and everything you could want from a Christmas video nasty. However, as is often the case in Christmas movies that feature their own made-up toys, I’m not convinced any kid would ever ask their parents to gift them any of these ugly-ass grotesque plastic monstrosities. I mean ‘Larry Larva’? Come on.
I’ve been feeling pretty blue this week and Initiation really bummed me out, so this frivolous instalment cheers me up. It’s hard not to enjoy the bit where some kid gets taken on a joyride by evil, haunted rollerblades and the movie’s ridiculous twist is so audacious that it just elevates the whole mad thing. So, the series ends on a wholly unexpected high, though the world wide web tells me that the franchise rebooted in 2012 with Malcolm McDowell. Let’s have it.
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