Next day, I move on to the festive films of the ‘50s, which I’m really looking forward to, though I’m also thoroughly knackered. We’ve got a photographer coming to take pictures of the house tomorrow to get it put on the market as soon as possible, so we’ve been working our asses off to get the place spotless. I’ve spent so much time scrubbing, wiping, rearranging and hoovering that I’m punch drunk by the time I take some time out to watch Rene Cardona’s completely bonkers 1959 oddity Santa Claus Vs The Devil. My exhausted state only adds to the surreal experience of watching this film, which is as mad as a bag of tramps. It’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination, but eminently watchable, such is its total wanton bizarreness.
This cult favourite is a strong dose of crazy, creepy Mexican weirdness, set in a world where Santa lives in a floating palace above the North Pole where, assisted by the wizard Merlin and children from all around the world, he manages Christmas through the use of big, sinister, cardboard-looking machines. Down in Hell (!) Lucifer hates Santa for being so darn nice, so he sends a creepy, ballet-dancing demon named Pitch up to Earth to cause mischief and whisper in kids’ ears to make them do nasty things like throwing stones at windows and stuff. He wants all the kids in the world to do evil so that they won’t get presents and Santa’s whole enterprise will be screwed, basically.
Wise old Santa knows this evil tomfoolery is going down but is only able to travel to Earth on Christmas Eve, so in the meantime he uses his nightmarish gadgets to keep an eye on things. One contraption allows him to look into a little girl’s dreams which are, frankly, terrifying. This part features a big choreographed dance number with creepy, human-sized dolls with sinister, expressionless faces who prance around, trying to tempt the girl to steal a dolly she’s got her eye on. It’s real nightmare fuel.
Another of Santa’s magical machines has big, creepy-looking billboard-sized lips that make me feel really uneasy. The whole film feels like a very odd dream with all manner of strange Blue Peter-esque creations that appear to have been built on a shoestring budget out of tinfoil and sticky-back plastic. Santa also has some really dodgy looking mechanical reindeer and a magical flower that makes him disappear.
There are many, many unusual things that happen throughout, like when Santa disguises himself as a waiter to try and entice the parents of a lonely boy to go back home to him. To do so, he offers them a magic cocktail but promises it will burn them if they don’t feel true love or something like that? It’s tricky to follow but definitely very messed up.
It’s all very strange and psychedelic, with an intense colour palate and trippy visuals, like Christmas on acid. The film’s opening scene at the North Pole feels like it goes on forever as we’re introduced to Santa’s child helpers from all around the world, with each country’s kids singing an ear-throttling tune about their homeland. It’s creepy, because the kids look so disinterested and glum, while many are stood there in seriously stereotypical outfits, the most gobsmacking of which are the African kids clad in blackface with bones and leopard skins, playing the bongos. The kids all seem weirdly depressed to be in the presence of Santa, giving the impression that they’re all slaves. Elsewhere, some chilling scenes set in Hell feature dozens of ghoulish demons prancing through the flames. I’d love to know who thought this would make for a jolly kids’ story.
There are quite a few straightforwardly charming moments, like when the Mexican postal service sort all the letters for Santa, sending them flying down a magic chute to Santa’s Toyland. The effects are cheap and awful, but I applaud the fact that they just went for it anyway. This madcap tale is all told with such unwavering conviction that it all adds to the unique, trippy vibe of the thing.
It’s undeniably odd, but its heart is in the right place, with a strong message about doing your best to be good, even when it’s easier to be bad. It’s also all about having faith, never giving up and all that good Christmassy stuff I love so much. It’d be too simplistic to call this one a ‘bad’ film – it's too captivating to dismiss, while the sheer number of WTF? moments throughout earn it ‘must-see’ status. To be honest it’s worthwhile just to see Santa shoot a tiny cannon at the devil’s bum.
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