The dog turd double whammy of A Karate/Wrestling Christmas Miracle has given me the bright idea of tackling the so-called worst Christmas films ever. Is it possible that there’s anything out there worse than Del Vecchio’s pair of yuletide stinkers? Online, there are certainly a lot of lists of ‘worst’ festive movies - it strikes me that the internet is full of people who seem to really enjoy listing all the stuff they don’t like. It seems unhealthy.
Going through the numerous catalogues of ‘most hated’ films, I realise I’ve already watched quite a few of them, including The Santa Clause 3 and I’m not sure I agree with many of the choices. Looking through these lists, I can see patterns emerging and I have a feeling there are a variety of reasons why online critics sharpen their pitchforks for certain films.
In the case of the elaborate stop-motion Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July from 1979, I’m pretty sure the venom has something to do with updating or meddling with established family favourites, like with A Christmas Story 2. So, I’d imagine that doing an update /reimagining/mash-up of beloved 1964 TV special Rudolph and 1969 cartoon Frosty the Snowman must have felt like straight-up sacrilege. Again, being Scottish and not all that familiar with either animated short, I have trouble seeing what all the fuss is about with this one - it’s trippy, narratively clumsy and overlong but it’s also gorgeously animated and thoroughly charming. I reckon most detractors hate it just for existing. A bit like The Phantom Menace, this dares to do something a little different with beloved characters that have inescapably become a huge part of popular culture. That doesn’t make it rubbish, in my opinion.
This one really anticipates 2020s movie trends by being an ‘all-star team-up’ movie, like Avengers Assemble or Justice League. The two animated giants are joined briefly by Santa, Jack Frost and other new characters that didn’t catch on like a flying ice cream man and a big whale with a clock in its tail.
The film reimagines Rudolph’s origin tale, making it a more mystically epic tale about sorcery, destiny and an ongoing war between good and evil. I find that pretty cool, however the main thrust of the plot revolves around Rudolph (Billie Mae Richards) and icy pal Frosty (Jackie Vernon) leaving the frozen north after being duped into joining the circus so that the evil wizard Winterbolt (Paul Frees) can take advantage of their absence to screw over his old enemy Santa (Mickey Rooney).
The film meanders along and there are lots of not-quite-catchy-enough songs about love and romance. There’s also a whole subplot about an evil reindeer named Scratcher, who’s very seedy and looks like he should be on some sort of register. Lead villain Winterbolt is a malevolent anti-Santa with snakes instead of reindeer and a frightening sentient ice-mirror thing that will likely give kids nightmares. Films like that are the ones that live long in the memory, in my opinion.
Rudolph and Frosty is too long but it’s hard to hate. It’s filled with trippy visuals and imagination, exuding a wonderful old-school charm and positive vibes. I like it just fine and I’m certain that only a Grinch could say this is one of the ‘worst’ festive films ever. I’m not having it.
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