Yesterday, I pondered how the increasingly unhinged Nativity! franchise could possibly top part 3's bonkers shenanigans. The answer to that question is they go full-on rock opera, with 2018’s Nativity Rocks! that sees the staff and pupils of St. Bernadettes audition for a place in a spectacular rock musical competition…at Christmas, of course. However, sadly, part four is not as bonkers, inventive or as funny as previous entries. There are no trips to America, no quest through the Welsh valleys, though there is a bit of social commentary on Brexit, bizarrely.
Clearly, few of the franchise’s main cast could be bothered to return, including - gasp! - Marc Wootton’s irreplaceable Mr Poppy. But they plough ahead anyway, falling back on that old chestnut - the hitherto unmentioned long-lost brother who also acts like an insufferable man-child. Simon Lipkin is Jeremy Poppy, the dimwitted sibling who makes a festive pilgrimage to St Bernadettes just in time to discover his bro has left for Australia. But hey-ho, one immature simpleton is as good as any, the film assumes, much to its detriment. Lipkin is okay, but it’s so clear he’s been hired to do a Mr Poppy impersonation that it feels insulting.
The half-heartedness continues with this year’s Christmas musical contest involving a ‘rock opera’, meaning there’s less fun original compositions and many semi-cute covers of done-to-death rock standards like ‘Born to be Wild’, ‘Bat Out of Hell’, ‘Since You’ve Been Gone’ and so on, with Lipkin doing his best to go full-on Jack Black. Yep, it all feels like an uninspired School of Rock knock-off, albeit one with a bold subplot about a young Syrian refugee separated from his Steppenwolf-loving dad (Ramin Karimloo). Displaced Doru (Brian Bartle)’s journey that sees him arrive at the school is far-fetched but after that dancing donkey, doesn’t seem like such a stretch.
The whole thing has much more of a whiff of panto cheese about it, with TV’s Strictly… star Craig Revel Horwood proving very unconvincing as ageing rocker/villain Emmanuel Cavendish. We’re also asked to swallow that Cavendish and Jeremy knew each other as children, despite a staggering twenty year age difference.
Various British sitcom stars make cameo appearances, but don’t have much to work with and everything feels tired and flat. For me, the strength of the series has been its original songs, high concept and Wootton’s manic, unpredictable teaching assistant. Shorn of all of these things, Nativity Rocks! is a big letdown, though not without the occasional inspired moment of madness. The rock-inspired, baffling re-telling of the Nativity with motorbikes and leather and stuff is amusing but watching kids jump about to overly familiar (and not-at-all Christmassy) rock classics isn’t anywhere near as much fun as having them do impromptu yuletide flash mob raps about amnesia-curing donkeys. A fifth film has yet to materialise and, judging on the evidence of this one, I doubt we’ll get one any time soon. Mind you, this one’s probably alright if you’re eight years old and love both pooh jokes and Meat Loaf.
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