Despite the title, 2015’s Krampus: The Reckoning is definitely not a sequel or in any way affiliated with Michael Dougherty’s far superior Krampus, released that same Winter. In fact, this feels suspiciously like a film script that had been floating around for a while before someone decided to shoehorn the Krampus name in there to try and make a quick buck. For shame.
This one from director Robert Conway is more a standard, done-to-death ‘killer imaginary friend/creepy kid’ movie that has nothing in common with the eerie alpine legend that birthed the Krampus character. Little Zoe (Amelia Haberman) is the unnerving orphan with the not-so-imaginary friend who she can summon with a creepy little voodoo doll to punish evil people that tick her off. After charred corpses start turning up in the kid’s wake, child psychologist Rachel (Monica Engesse) starts to regret taking her case.
The film shows some decent promise, but all hope is lost the second the crude CGI monster turns up, giving an idea of the aspirations vs the limitations of the film-makers. This Krampus has the power to magically set people on fire, which I suspect is a sly way to make sure the crappy-looking blob of special effects doesn’t have to actually touch or interact with anyone, but just stand there and growl a bit.
Things do start out quite Christmassy, with a wise old lady explaining the legend of the alpine goat-demon to a child by the Christmas tree and it ends quite satisfyingly with an eerie, reimagined version of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ playing over the credits, with lyrics about Krampus dragging children to hell. But as the film goes on, it’s as if the writers – and the characters – seem to have forgotten this is meant to take place during the holidays. To be honest, this is a creature feature that could take place at any time of the year, substituting any CGI boogeyman you like as the antagonist. In fact, a few mentions of murders happening all year round leave me wondering what the hell this Krampus actually has to do with Santa or Christmas at all. It’s a standard, unoriginal, unremarkable straight-to-video horror, complete with cheap gore and gratuitous boob shots that just make me feel bad for Engesser who gives a sassy, determined performance here and surely deserves better than that.
Strangely, though, watching all these Christmas horror films – especially the bad ones – is really giving me something to look forward to every day. Even though I’m not getting out of the house much, I’m finding that this leg of my quest is cheering me up a lot. There’s something about low-budget horror that’s very interesting – it’s an oversaturated field, filled with loads of try-hard novice film-makers having a go and seeing what they can achieve on next to no cash. It’s genuinely engrossing at times to see what these guys come up with, even if it is often a bit rubbish. I have a lot of respect for anyone who has the guts to just try and make a movie, never mind get it released for audiences. So, when there are some genuine shocks and scares, it feels like a real triumph.
I’m actively seeking out obscure, yuletide horror flicks I would never normally have given the time of day. There’s only so many hours in the day and, under normal circumstances, I doubt I would ever choose to watch Krampus: The Reckoning over whatever the latest big budget superhero FX blockbuster is. I feel I’m broadening my horizons and appreciating the craft and struggle of film-making a lot more by viewing movies that tend to exist on the margins. Delving into online forums to hear what people think of these films, I’m uncovering a whole new world inhabited by die-hard horror nerds who make it their business to watch every scary new release, whether it’s been well-publicised or completely obscure. It’s fascinating.
Like with the Hallmark movies and some of the more recondite kids films hiding on movie streaming sites, I’m discovering actors and film-makers I’ve never been exposed to before. I feel oddly proud that I can recognise a guy like Michael Rady from …Pemberley Manor when he pops up in Secret Santa and makes me appreciate his acting range. I’m also learning there are whole new worlds out there to explore, with many diverse interpretations of what constitutes a ‘Christmas movie’.
Though it’s getting hard to watch and write about these films every day, it’s been fun so far and really engaging. In these gloomy times, I have some extra motivation and purpose for getting out of bed in the morning and my life feels that bit more fulfilling. How many people do you think are able to say that after watching Krampus: The Reckoning? Christmas magic indeed.
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