2004’s Christmas With the Kranks is another sad, sorry example of the Hollywood bean counters wasting amazing talent on really poor material. The formula seems to be “Familiar Stars” plus “Christmas Stuff” = $$$$$$$$, with any semblance of a decent plot or decent jokes rarely figuring into that equation.
This widely hated picture from director Joe Roth thinks all it has to do is repeat the same crap joke over and over. Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora Krank (Jamie Lee Curtis) are fed up with the commerciality of the festive season and so, with their daughter now grown up and out of the house, they decide to just completely skip Christmas and their neighbours simply cannot believe it!!! You can see why the Kranks wouldn’t be feeling it as, after consulting some spreadsheets, accountant Luther tallies up that they’ve been spending six grand a year on Christmas. So, they hatch a scheme to spend all that dough on a luxury cruise instead.
This choice is diabolically shocking to their nearest and dearest who act as though they’ve murdered someone. Cue lots of ‘gags’ about neighbours, friends and co-workers staring at the Kranks in disgust as they try to process the news. Screenwriter Chris Columbus adapting the light-hearted novel ‘Skipping Christmas’ by John Grisham (yes, that John Grisham) seems to be making a point about how society tends to ostracise those who dare to be different but he then craps all over that point by copping out, with the Kranks giving in to Christmas anyway. The film seems to be saying that no, actually, the Kranks have in fact been very selfish by not caving in to their neighbourhood’s hate campaign. It’s confusing, depressing and dumb.
Curtis and Allen try their best and, at least, are a far more appealing double act than, say, Affleck and Gandolfini but the jokes are poor. There’s some cringe-inducing stuff involving Nora stripped down to a bikini and coming face to face with her reverend at a tanning salon (as though there’s any shame in that?) which seems to have been scripted solely to prove that Jamie Lee still has a great figure. There’s the usual hackneyed gags involving Christmas trees falling over, people falling off ladders but also a weird bit where Luther gets face-mangling botox.
So much of the film doesn’t make sense, like the Kranks decision to not just cancel gift-giving but to quit giving to charity too - it just seems mean. Their neighbours then form a hate mob and terrorise them in their home by aggressively shouting Christmas carols through the window. None of this is very funny.
It’s upsetting to see supporting stars Dan Aykroyd and M Emmet Walsh reduced to playing one-note grumpy neighbour characters but, as I’ve discovered, it seems that Hollywood stars can’t resist the lure of the Christmas film. Christmas With the Kranks is a well-made, good-looking film but when the overriding message seems to be ‘conform to bullies or you will suffer’, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
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