Aware that the romantic Xmas films have been getting to me, for my next film I hunt down a Netflix Christmas flick that’s not remotely schmaltzy or particularly romantic. In a welcome change of pace, 2020’s Christmas Crossfire (aka Wir Kinnen Nicht Anders) has got blood, bullets, sex, mystery and intrigue, as well as being deliciously festively flavoured - and it’s German with subtitles! This one really couldn’t get much more different from what I’ve been watching lately, even if it is hella weird.
The holiday season isn’t the primary focus of this crime caper, though it does all go down at Christmas and the plot's wild twists and turns build up nicely to an exciting finale that takes place in a gorgeously lit Christmas grotto.
On a wintery Berlin night, seductive Edda (German popstar Alli Neuman) picks up mild-mannered University professor Sam (Kostja Ullmann) in a bar and soon they’re getting saucy in the back of Edda’s camper van. Sam can't believe his luck. Thing is, Edda really seems like one of those femme fatales we all know so well and, soon enough, she has him wrapped round her finger and off on a mystery road trip. Pulling over in the middle of nowhere for a second serving of sauce, Sam accidentally stumbles onto some gangsters executing a dude. Whoops.
Suddenly Sam is on the run, along with the mob's intended victim Rudi (Merlin Rose) while Edda, who surprisingly isn't a femme fatale after all, has her work cut out trying to find him and escape the woods in one piece.
It's an odd, quirky comedy crime drama filled with lots of little unexpected character moments. It's also hampered by an overcomplicated plot that introduces too many characters for us to keep up with.
There's head thug Hermann (Sascha Alexander Gersak), the depressive small-time crime lord who wants Rudi dead for bonking his wife. He controls a gang of misfit goons, each with their own quirks - one still lives with his mum, one can't stand the sight of blood and so on.
Then there's Rudi, the young, love-blind idiot, so smitten with his boss's moll that never stops to think about all the chaos he's causing. He's also an ungrateful git, treating Sam's impromptu rescue as some sort of cock-blocking inconvenience.
Meanwhile, Edda enlists the assistance of local copper Frank (Frederic Linkemann), an incompetent fool more interested in getting in her pants than solving the case.
It's an odd one - it starts out seeming like a thrilling chase movie but evolves into more of an examination of Hermann's mental disintegration, unable to accept his wife's infidelity. He ends up rampaging through the village in a Santa suit, brandishing a shotgun. As you do.
The film's full of surprises and keeps me guessing as to where it's all going , though I do start to feel lost at times. However, at this stage in the game, an unconventional, dark Christmas comedy with shootings, stabbings and even the odd car chase? That will do nicely.
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