1991’s All I Want For Christmas is a film that time seems to have forgotten. I’d never heard of it and critics seem to have hated it for being contrived, illogical and/or manipulative, depending on who you listen to. It might be guilty of being all of those things, yet I still find this tale of two young siblings conspiring to get their divorced parents back together for Christmas entertaining and amusing with excellent performances from its two young leads.
Thora Birch does her impossibly precocious, wise-beyond-her-years cute kid thing. Since having a daughter, I’m an absolute sucker for this stuff, so this film has me under its spell from the moment Birch’s seven-year-old Hallie appears in a pink tutu, giving big bro 13-year-old Ethan (Ethan Embry) a hilarious dressing down for being two minutes late.
These siblings are sad this yuletide as their mom Catherine (Harley Jane Kozak) looks set to marry a successful but dull, child-hating dweeb named Tony (Kevin Nealon). The kids are certain that mum and cool diner-owning father Michael (Jamey Sheridan) still love each other and scheme to get them back together and Save Christmas. Hallie thinks this is a great time to ask Santa (Leslie Nielsen) for help, so marches up to the “real” Santa at Macy’s department store and demands an intervention. Soon, the kids realise they must take matters into their own hands.
This film is cheese but it’s tasty cheese with more than enough festive cheer and wish-fulfilment magic to help it go down. I’m starting to feel like after almost nine months of this yuletide crusade, rather than become cynical, I’ve become putty in the hands of exploitative filmmakers who know just how to manipulate viewers’ emotions. I’ve become the perfect target audience for this straightforward story of believing in Christmas miracles but not just depending on Santa to bring you everything you want.
It’s all very cute and harmless, with a subplot about Ethan courting young love interest Stephanie (Amy Oberer) proving especially appealing, because the two youngsters act it all so well, all furtive glances and awkward, flirty conversations. I love the part where he takes her to a shop’s free food samples counter on a date, as this is absolutely the sort of thing you can picture a love-sick teen doing. It’s flippin’ adorable.
Everything works out a little too easily for Ethan and Hallie, following a flimsy scheme involving mice and locking Tony in an ice cream van. However, that can’t spoil my enjoyment of watching great actors having fun bouncing off each other. Nielsen makes for a dignified, cuddly Santa Claus even if he’s only in it for a few short scenes and doesn’t seem to do much - or does he?
Crucially, the cinematography is also ace, presenting a snow-dusted Manhattan that looks to die for. It’s a shamelessly romantic, warm-spirited film and, though the outcome is never in doubt, the enjoyment of a simple tale like this comes from the delightful twists and hijinks that help us get there. You could do a lot worse than watch this with your wee ones, if you’re lucky enough to have any. I say a hearty “humbug” to anyone who disliked this one.
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