2015's A Christmas Melody is the directorial debut of pop diva and self-proclaimed 'Queen of Christmas' Mariah Carey. I’m compelled to watch this first as it generated an insane amount of buzz when it debuted on the small screen. As if to prove there’s nothing she can’t do, Jack-of-all-trades Mariah also shows off her acting skills, albeit in a supporting role.
The movie's star is Mean Girls’ Lacey Chabert, who's carved out a neat little niche, having starred in no less than twenty-seven Hallmark films. Here, she's Kristin, a recently widowed single mum who, along with precocious daughter Emily (Fina Strazza), moves back to Ohio after her LA fashion business collapses, just in time for Christmas. Kristin quickly comes face-to-face with old high school nemesis Melissa (Carey), a manipulative cow who is now the head of the PTA. The ladies lock horns – Emily wants to sing in the Christmas pageant, Melissa is going to make things hard for her, basically because she’s a monster. Carey plays it broad, making Melissa easy to hate and that’s without taking into account the massive age difference between these two women who were allegedly in the same year at school. Pull the other one, Mariah.
Emily’s school music teacher Danny (Brennan Elliott) also just happens to be an old classmate, who’s sweet, handsome and oh-so available. Predictable festive romance blossoms.
Despite being initially resistant to the charms of the small town life she left behind, with a sprinkle of holiday magic and a lot of cheesy Christmas pop, Emily discovers that home is, indeed, where the heart is, falling head over heels in love and even using her fashion skills to save the day.
It’s super-saccharine and formulaic, though I'm shocked that Carey doesn’t sing a note in the whole film. While it's competently directed, it’s very noticeable that all of Mariah’s close-ups are that bit closer than everyone else’s. Her acting is also pretty atrocious, making it hard to believe this is the same actress who impressed so much in Precious. Though I can definitely accept that this is the same woman who was in Glitter.
Inevitably, the song Emily sings in the big finale is a rejigged version of Mariah’s own ‘Oh Santa,’ with the kid shedding her shy exterior to suddenly becoming a booty-shaking mini-Mariah. The performance is an over-the-top, sickly sweet bit of musical theatre that grates on me, but which I fully accept is the only logical way for this syrupy film to end.
With everyone learning something by the end and even malevolent Mariah coming good for the sake of the children, it’s hard to hate an unashamedly positive film like this. I even find myself laughing once or twice.
Obviously, I’m still in the Christmas spirit, as it’s Boxing Day, there’s frost outside and still lights twinkling on the tree. I wonder if I’ll be quite so tolerant come mid-August?
I can see why certain people like these films, though I shudder at the thought of watching thirty more movies set in this cheesy fantasy land.
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